I am perhaps a bit obsessed with language.  I believe that how I phrase something matters, both in verbal and written communication.  This is perhaps not a surprise to many, since I am, after all, a lawyer. I think God knew to lead me towards that profession rather than the many other options that also interested me, since I do really enjoy the craft of words.  Nevertheless, being a precise communicator has its advantages and disadvantages.

The positive side:

First, much of the legal work I do for Cru has to do with helping US Campus staff know what words to use when addressing potential or actual legal challenges on their campuses. This often comes down to how to phrase things in a respectful, common-ground-seeking way that still stays true to our values and messages as an organization. We want to help the administrators on various campuses understand why what our student Chapter is doing benefits them and is consistent with the state of the law.  It is often the subtle things that make a difference in this type of communication.

Second, because most people interpret life through the lens of their worldview, and because the worldviews in our culture are becoming more and more diverse, we have to provide more context for our thoughts and assertions. It is important to both seek to understand the other person’s perspective, helping him/her to feel heard, and important to clarify where my perspective agrees and differs.  This is helpful in building good rapport; it is also helpful to avoid leaving a conversation thinking we understand one another when we actually do not.  I have found that this is helpful when talking about the Bible in particular, both with unchurched and churched people.  

I cannot assume, for example, that a student I am talking to has any context for understanding that God’s commands in the Bible are steeped in the context of both truth and grace. For Christians, I have to continually remind them that service, ministry, and Godly living must come out of a place of security, confidence and joy in their walk with God. I want to help people understand that Biblical standards for right and wrong arise out of the fact that God is a holy and loving God who knows that we will be most satisfied when we obey because he loves us as a loving Father, giving his children boundaries for their own protection.  If we are his child (adopted into the family of God), we have his unfading love, but we will experience his love more when we draw close to him and walk in his ways. The language I use to describe these truths matters because society likes to falsely paint God as an angry, demanding, selfish father—and such thoughts can sneak in and warp the interpretations of the gospel in students hearts and minds…  But God’s Word is so powerful and so good—I am thankful for it!

The negative side:

One downside of my obsession with language is that I get frustrated when people don’t understand me.  I want so much to communicate well that I don’t give myself much grace when either I fail at communicating well, or someone else simply is not tracking with me for whatever reason. We are relational beings, and communication is very complex and full of pitfalls. I am thankful for God’s grace in the midst of it all. We are broken people, and yet he is such an amazing example of faithfulness and love that accepts us, but doesn’t leave us where we are.  I don’t want my relationships to be characterized by frustration over communication problems, but rather by a commitment to seek understanding and cover all things in love.

Another downside (on a lighter note) is that Jeremiah gets frustrated when I micromanage his writing (haha). There is a certain amount of personality that needs to come through the writing, and he sometimes complains that I am taking away the emotion he is trying to communicate when I adjust a sentence “to be more clear.” We work it out, and are actually a pretty good team when it comes to communicating in ministry and life (He gives me amazing ideas and feedback for discipleship planning, helps me to simplify complex ideas, and reminds me how to sound less formal when I am planning devotionals.  And I help him organize and clarify his thinking and communicate to “do-ers,” since he is such a big-picture thinker). But it does come up from time to time…

A Final Thought:

I think the key overall is to keep a light view of things. None of us can hold ourselves to a perfect standard in any area of life. God has given us different giftings, and we can seek wisdom and strength from Him to use those gifts in ways that most glorify Him and build up the Body of Christ. But we also must give ourselves and all those we are in relationship with grace upon grace, just as Christ gives to us. If we do that, I think we will find that we appreciate and rely upon the gifts of our brothers and sisters in Christ all the more, and find more fruit from our gifts as well.

P.s. (Jeremiah told me to put this): sorry for being so wordy…

This morning, a friend said that he had been asked what historical figure he would most like to have lunch with (for an employee spotlight). He said Jesus. He then said, “I’m not sure what we would talk about. What would that be like? What questions would I have?”

What immediately came to mind for me was, ‘How am I doing? Am I on track to hear, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.” That’s what I would want to know from Jesus.

It seemed to me at the time that was a good thought. I want to please Jesus with my life, and I therefore want to know how well I am doing at pleasing him, at being a good steward of my life. As I drove home, however, I began to question why this came into my mind so quickly. Why did asking about MYSELF come to mind when thinking about having lunch with Jesus. Why not want to know more about Him?

I have found that immediate reactions tell me about myself. These thoughts force me to ask myself these questions: Does having these thoughts make me self-centered? Does that show how deeply concerned I am with how other people view me, that I would ask about MYSELF if I was sitting with the creator and sustainer of the universe. Does that show how deeply insecure I am? Does that show how man-centered (actually, that would be self-centered) I am?

Why not ask about Him as my first though? Why not ask about what it felt like to add a human nature to His divine nature? Why not ask about how to know the Father better? Why not just ask Him to teach about whatever He thinks I need to hear, and simply be content to listen?

I have far to go in this life to embrace worship as a constant. I want it to be true that I hear ‘Well done, good and faithful servant.’ But I want it to be because I was so focused on Christ that I didn’t care about what others were going to say about me.

I want the words of John the Baptist to be true of me, ‘He must increase, I must decrease.’ – John 3:30

For much of my walk with the Lord over the last 20 years or so, I have wanted to be willing to do whatever God asks, and to be stretched and changed by him.  I think it is funny how He often brings that change about–carefully stripping out the pride that I have tied in to the roots of the desire, and gradually refining me, replacing my pride with trust and dependence as I reach the limits of my own strength and initial resolve rather quickly.

I have always been drawn to adoption, but never truly thought much about foster care, because it seemed even more intimidating than adoption. But then the Lord started us on the journey of pursuing adoption through the foster care system last Spring.  Even through the whole process of getting licensed, we felt pretty certain that our call was to mostly adoption—providing a “forever family” for a child who needed one. Yet once we received the license, we kept reflecting on some of the case studies we had learned about in our licensing, and on the reality of the need (and lack of foster homes in Northern Arizona), and we decided we should open up ourselves to the possibility of fostering as a whole.  We wanted to help meet the needs of children here, and wanted seek to truly live out the love that our Savior has shown us when we were weak and undeserving and needy.  It tends to be much easier to say we are willing (yet try to confine our options to and even pray for the easiest situations) than it is to act.  We determined to be willing to respond and act in the face of need.

Well, here we are, with two foster children in our home, overnight becoming part of our family for as long as God desires.  I don’t think I even knew what I was really saying when I said “yes” to the phone call a couple weeks ago, but God knew.  I am not going to give any case details here to preserve confidentiality, but wanted to share some reflections from my perspective as a first time Foster Mom.  With the two new children, the ages of the children in our household are now 2,3,4,5 and 7.

It is not easy, and there are definitely times when Jeremiah and I feel in over our heads, particularly since we are the only Cru Staff couple here, and have many college “kids” we are already caring for.  But love requires sacrifice, and only through that comes great joy.  When the two children arrived at our doorstep late one night a couple weeks ago, we looked at their scared faces and immediately wanted to welcome and love them. Based on my very brief experience thus far, I will share a few amazing things, a few challenges, and a few blessings that are arising from this whole experience.

First, some amazing things I have noticed: (1) Children are truly resilient—I am consistently surprised by the hope and trust children can display in the midst of a complete displacement from the life they knew.  And even in the face of crazy circumstances like neglect (by far the most common reason for removals in Northern Arizona) or abuse, these children (like all children), are wired to want close relationships, to have big dreams for their futures, and to rejoice in new fun experiences, while still treasuring memories and longing for restoration of their family relationships.  (2) I am honored by how quickly these children have seemed to receive my love and rest in us as a place of safety. I don’t want to breech that trust, and long to continue to be safe for them in every way. (3) Children just cry out for love and acceptance, and are not afraid to express that need and pursue it. These children at least want hugs and closeness. It is not hard for me to seek to treat them as I do my birth children, with much affection and consistent boundaries (as much as I am capable of consistency with my many failings).

Some challenges that I perceive to be somewhat unique to Foster care are the following. First, When you are going to have a baby, you know pretty much when it will happen and what to expect. You also have figured out how to slow your life down when it happens. When receiving Foster children into your home, none of that is true. You don’t know when; you don’t know what age the child/children will be; and you certainly do not have a plan set in place to slow life down (at least I didn’t…).

Second, while we knew suddenly adding children of varied ages to our home would place stress on our birth children, we didn’t know exactly what it would look like. We had resolved to keep the birth order, at least for our older children, but were somewhat willing to flex a bit around Judah’s age. It has proven most difficult for him to have one new child on either side of him–meaning he has lost his “place,” his time alone with Mom, and most other stable things he had in place… He is adjusting, and often has tons of fun with the kids, but has been lashing out a bit more than normal…

Third, my sin is never far away…my impatience, my self-will, my desire to control situations.  Yet I am even more powerless than I already was in affecting the lives and hearts of my birth children. With that come fears…

• What if I can’t do my job well because of this…with the ministry to students here, with my legal work for Cru… What if people are upset with me? (my people-pleasing…)
• What if I am missing out on certain focused time with my birth children? Will they resent me for it?
• What if I am not good at this, and I get impatient and don’t parent well?
• What if we don’t get to adopt because we took a sibling foster placement?

When such fears arise, I have to remind myself that I have a personal, compassionate, gracious Father in Heaven, who has given me all that I need for life and godliness, and who will not give me more than I can bear (when I put my hope in Him). He is sovereign, and has a plan for my spiritual growth, my character growth, and my family’s provision. He is with me. What a blessing it is to know Him!

And speaking of blessings…I have also seen blessings, and believe many more will come through this process.  (1) Our birth children are learning what it means to love beyond their comfort zone, which will hopefully point them to Christ all the more and all He has done for us. (2) I get to see a more complete picture of what it means to come like a child to the Lord—to depend upon Him and cling to Him—as I observe and cherish both sweet and raw moments with these beautiful children. (3) I get to see my own need for Christ even more fully—as I am confronted with my limitations and my brokenness, with five children dependent upon me that I cannot possibly meet all the needs of. But God can meet their needs, and as I am driven to Him, I can more effectively point these children to Him. (4) We get to continue to grow our heart for restoration of families and renewal of individuals, trusting and praying that God’s power can reach into any situation, and His light can shine in the darkness, bringing hope and healing.

Thank you for your prayers as we are on this journey. God is doing a great work in our hearts and lives.

Jeremiah and I were just reflecting recently on the reality of how annoying broken things are. So we had a leaky faucet. Doesn’t seem like it should be that big of a deal, right? Well, poor Jeremiah took it apart, found a piece that looked broken, and went to the store to try to find a replacement. One place didn’t have the part, so he went to another. Then when he finally got the part, it didn’t fix the problem. More diagnosis, more trial, more trips to the hardward store…finally, it was fixed, after many more hours than Jeremiah would have liked. I will say he perseveres, and takes care of our house and family well…

Anyway, it was frustrating. Yet it is satisfying to finally see a thing like a faucet fixed, and to know you helped fix it. And then there is the benefit (sometimes unappreciated in the moment) that a struggle with a “thing” like a faucet does develop character–perseverance, hard work, patience, etc.

So what about brokenness in others, or in ourselves?  This can be equally annoying. Lets face it–it is inconvenient when we see our own junk. It is frustrating and embarasing when that same sin keeps getting in the way. We would rather explain it away or ignore it, or nuance it, or justify it…but that doesn’t glorify God, and doesn’t help us grow.

The thing that is good about brokenness is that it points us to dependence upon God. We have found in ministry that this is true both in relation to the brokenness we find uncovered in our own lives as well as the brokenness that becomes so clear in the lives of those we are seeking to minister too.  Somehow, God uses it to refine us and to refine them. But this only works when we acknowledge it for what it is–usually rooted in sin. Then God can gradually bring healing; we learn to depend on Him; we get the joy of knowing Him more deeply and realizing his love is unending; we grow in character and contentment; and He ultimately gets more glory.

The hard part for me is the patience… I don’t particularly like the refining process in me all the time. I also don’t particularly like the lengthy amount of time it takes to help someone see victory over past hurts and current sins in their lives.

BUT, once God has been at work, it is truly amazing to see the beautiful tapestry that He weaves. And it always reflects His beauty, His artistry, His love, and His faithfulness. I long to see more of that. Yet there are no shortcuts. Real tapestries are not churned out in a factory–if you have ever seen the huge ones in museums, they are definitely unique, one of a kind artwork. I rejoice that I get to see God’s handiwork, and that I get to be part of showing people the depths of the steadfast love of God applied in our day to day lives.

Please continue to pray that the students here at NAU, as well as our children, would continue to grow in their knowledge of God and that they would trust Him to renew those broken places.

A common struggle for those in ministry is to trust in self-effort for results instead of remembering that ONLY God moves minds and hearts and builds movements of people for His glory.  With self-reliance often comes a focus on tasks instead of people, and numbers instead of changed lives. We have noticed recently that several of our students seemed to be struggling with this task mentality, and they have therefore been feeling weary very quickly, and just wanting to pull away from ministry.  Jeremiah and I don’t like to put pressure on people, but we do want to help students to figure out the root behind their struggles. Often removing what feels like the outward cause is not what fixes the problem, particularly when there is a deeper heart issue in play.

I often focus in my discipleship on applying the gospel to every part of our lives, remembering that our maturity and growth come from the Lord, and that his grace and mercy are new every morning. Especially when I am working with student leaders, I like to remind them that what qualifies them to do the work of ministry is a heart that fully seeks the Lord. That is more important than skills, which only truly bring God glory when our hearts are also towards Him. (I Chron 28:9-10)

If we start on the path of seeking God first and foremost, I believe our humility, sense of peace and joy, and our hunger for God will keep growing and growing as we mature spiritually.  I am thankful for my journey so far, and for how God stirred up in me a desire to know Him more. He continues to show me that I am happiest when I am seeking to know Him more and walking in honesty and humility before Him. A verse I love is Philippians 1:6, which says “And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” What good news that God is still not done with me, and has more good in store.

My belief that a heart issue involved in our struggles stems from my own story. As I have spent time thinking about how to encourage our students, I have reflected on my own story in college.  There was a dramatic shift that happened in my ministry life between my Junior and Senior years; it was a key point where I realized that God’s grace was not just for that moment of trusting in Him for salvation, but for my daily life—and I was able to receive God’s grace in my process of spiritual growth, not trying to be perfect, but pointing others to Christ through acknowledging my weakness and dependence upon Him. It was amazingly freeing and changed my guilt to joy and hope.

Before the change, I consistently felt like I was not doing enough and that I must be disappointing God and others. I felt burned out on ministry because it felt like it was something I was “supposed” to do. People quickly annoyed me, and I wished I could just do my studies and not have to think about it. I hit a place of burn out each quarter, and just didn’t feel a sense of the deeper “joy” in my life that I was pretty sure followers of Christ were supposed to have independent of circumstances.

I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know how to get out of my cycle of frustration and guilt. But it was through some good friends—who pointed out that I needed to stop being so defensive about everything and acknowledge my need for God and his grace and strength—that the Holy Spirit finally penetrated my heart with the truth. It is somewhat ironic that acknowledging my brokenness is what allowed me to see the wholeness I already have in Christ. It was acknowledging my self-focus that allowed me to shift my eyes to the one who truly knows me. It was acknowledging my inability to make things right on my own that brought me true peace and hope.

First and foremost, I had to see my selfishness and pride as sin. I had to acknowledge that I could not keep a right standing before God with my effort and work, which result in guilt and frustration. Instead, I have to continue to rely on Christ for my sufficiency and life.  I find wholeness when I look to Christ for that, and point others to Him as well, because then I stop trying to prove that I am not still broken.  Instead, I am free to be a broken person, alongside other broken people, clinging to the one who has made me right with God in Christ and who will make me whole in every way in the future, by his mercy and to His glory.

After this shift that God worked in my heart, I was able to approach ministry and life differently. I remember consciously deciding to see people as more important than my tasks and accomplishments, and I was willing to sacrifice my time and energy, even if it meant losing some sleep and alone time. I began to love the small group of women that I led Senior year, and I was no longer drained by all the brokenness in the girls because I knew it was God who could change them, not me. I felt compassion for them because I knew I was not any different, but for God’s work in my life.  It was like all the things I already knew finally penetrated my heart. The Holy Spirit moved in me—I cannot take credit. And that taste of God’s grace and truth in my own life sparked a hunger to know Him even more deeply.

My undergraduate career was just the start of that journey. God has continued to show me his love and grace in abundance. And I have definitely seen that my spiritual leadership is much more effective when I don’t try to look like I have it all together, but openly share my weaknesses and point to the One who has made me whole in Christ.  Ten years of Marriage and nearly 8 years of being a mother have also continued to point out my sin tendencies and my continuing need for God’s grace as I journey with Him.

I am so thankful. I pray that I will continue to seek and serve God “with a whole heart and with a willing mind” (2 Chron 28:9), and find my joy and satisfaction only there.

[This was simply a good time for me to think about revival, about renewal, about what God would have me do to see more of Him in my life, in my church, in my ministry, in my family, in my community. I want to have more passion in my life and the lives of the people around me. So excuse my ramblings and research and hopefully you may be blessed]

     What is revival? Would we want it to come? How come it doesn’t come? What would it be like for revival to happen in my own life, in the life of my church, in the life of my community?

     There have been several things recently that have led me to think again about this topic i have neglected for the past few years.

     First, there have been difficult things in ministry. There have been ways in which I have seen my own laziness, my own sloth, my own lack of passion. I have been easily thrown off, distracted from pursuing God and His Kingdom passionately.

     Second, I have recently listened to talk about revival by Tim Keller, who has experienced twice in his life what would be called revival—once while a student at Bucknell University, and once in ministry in Manhattan, NY. It got me thinking about my own experience as a student at Cal Poly, SLO, and how I got to experience revival in amazing ways (You can listen to the talk here). I also remember talking a lot about revival, praying for nationwide revival, seeing revival around us and wanting that to spread.

     Third, I learned about a young woman involved with Cru in Chico, CA who died on Nov 1 after being struck by a car while she was on her bicycle. She was 20 years old, and apparently a devoted follower and servant of Jesus. It has made me think much about the brevity of life and the necessity for vigor and life in regards to God.

     I want to spend some time thinking about this for myself, and hopefully to inspire others to pray again, pray more, or perhaps pray for the first time ever for revival in our own lives, in the lives of those around us and in the world.

What is revival?

     I like Tim Keller’s description that revival is simply the acceleration of the Holy Spirit’s normal work in salvation and sanctification. I think many are afraid of revival because they are afraid of people going a bit crazy and perhaps the ‘signs’ of revival being uncomfortable in a charismatic way.  Instead, I think about what the Holy Spirit does in normative times and want to see those with greater frequency and depth. 

     He makes people born again (John 3:3-8, Gal 4:29, 1 Cor 2:1-5, 1 Thess 1:4-5, Titus 3:4-5). He convicts us of sin (John 16:8-11). He teaches us the truth of the Gospel in our inner-most beings (John 14:17, 16:13-14, 1 Cor 1:18, 2:11-14). He helps us feel the closeness of God as a Father and access to Him (Gal 4:6, Rom 8:15-16, Eph 2:18). He helps us to pray (Rom 8:26-27, Eph 6:18, Rev 1:10). He helps us put to death the deeds of the body, to mortify our flesh, to stop sinning (Deut 30:6, Jer 31:33, Eze 11:19-20, 36:26-27, Ps 51:10, Rom 2:29, 8:13, Col 3:5). He causes us to become more like Jesus (1 Cor 3:17). He gives us power in evangelism and preaching (Acts 1:8, 4:33, Luke 24:49, 1 Thess 1:5, Luke 4:14, 12:11-12, Isa 61:1-4). He causes us to see the Bible as the Word of God and not the words of men (1 Thess 1:2:13). He causes us to prophesy, dream dreams, and see visions (Joel 2:28-29, Acts 2:17-21, 21:9, Luke 2:36). He enables our service to God (1 Pet 4:10-11). He gives us freedom in this life (1 Cor 3:17, Gal 5:1, 13). He gives us spiritual gifts (Rom 12:6-8, 1 Cor 12:1-11, Eph 4:7-13). He baptizes us into Christ, identifying us with Him (1 Cor 12:13, Rom 6:3-11). He makes us to experience all the goodness and blessing and fullness of Christ (John 7:37-39, Isa 55:1-2, 44:3, Matt 5:6, Rev 21:6). He gives us singleness and unity of heart and purpose (Jer 24:7, 32:39-40, Philip 1:27, Eph 4:1-6). He sends out missionaries to foreign fields and appoints servants in domestic fields (Acts 13:1-2, 8:29, 20:28). He does many more things than those…

     I think about these things, and want them more and more in my life. I want to be more fervent in spirit (Rom 12:11), which is also translated ‘fervent in The Spirit’). I want to have zeal for the Lord, be zealous for good works (Titus 2:14). I want to have a heart that is fully alive, wanting Jesus more than anything else, and knowing that my only satisfaction in life comes from Him alone (Psalm 16).  I want that to be welling up from within me, not something I have to put on like a mask. I want some of the passion that I had when I was in college (but without the constant angst of an unformed identity and unsettled soul).

     Revival is to make alive again, or to make alive more fully. It’s Christians who begin to live like the Bible says is the normal and good way to live. It isn’t because we’re forced to, but because we want to. It’s truly living out 1 John 5:3 – “For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.” It’s to WANT to serve God, serve other people because of the great love that God is putting into our own hearts. It’s deeply understanding the Gospel and letting that have it’s full fruit (James 1:4).  I want these to be true of my life.

     So why doesn’t that naturally occur? Why doesn’t revival come into my own life and the lives of the people around me? Why must I live a life of a semi-awake existence, where I know and believe God, but struggle and strive? Why does it feel like so much work to live for God?  I long for another time in my life of an inward passion so much so that the thought of giving more time, money, emotion and life to God sounds like the absolutely best idea I could have.

     “Draw near to God, and I will draw near to you.’ A recent post by John Piper on this verse from James 4:8 gives me a bit of the answer. The verse continues to say, ‘cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded (not single minded, my addition). Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.’  It reminds me of 2 Chronicles 7:13-14, which says, ‘When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command the locust to devour the land, or send pestilence among my people, if my people who are called by my name humble themselves, and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.’

     The principle behind both of these verses (though one was given under the Mosaic Covenant) is that God will bless those who are penitent and humble in heart. Indeed, ‘The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.’ (Psalm 51:17).  This leads me to ask myself, am I broken in spirit? or prideful? I know that ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ (James 4:6, 1 Pet 5:5).

     My conclusion is that I need to humble myself. I need self-examination. I need to see my own sin for truly what it is. I need the Word of God to do it’s work in that revelation of my true nature and God’s true nature. (Heb 4:12, 2 Tim 3:16-17, Jer 23:29, Eph 6:17, Rev 1:16, 2:12, 1 Cor 14:24-25, Isa 40). I need to cleanse myself (2 Tim 2:20-21, Prov 25:4) by the Spirit (Rom 8:13) and ask God to bless me (Joel 2:12-14) and ask that God would bring the blessing of His Spirit to myself and to all those around me (Isaiah 35).

Will you join me, and seek revival in our land?

I (Lori) am a person who enjoys accomplishing tasks. I like having a to-do list and checking things off as I finish them. Yet I also deeply value relationships and want people to feel cared for in the midst of what I am doing.  Interestingly, much of what I do in my major roles right now involves trying to touch people’s minds and hearts;  I am trying to help them grow and see and know God more (as a Mother and as a Campus Minister).  I cannot make that happen, no matter how well I communicate or how many things I check off my to-do list.  Even in the legal work I do for Cru, I cannot make things happen. I can try to speak clearly and persuasively—but only God moves the hearts of Campus administrators and truly enables policies to change in His sovereign wisdom.

So I find myself utterly dependent upon Him. And although it rubs against the direction of our culture, it is a good thing to be in this place of dependence. It is good, because it drives me to remember who God is and why he is absolutely trustworthy! It is good, because it drives me to pray. It is good, because when I am weak, then I am strong (in Him). It is good, because when I am dependent, there is not room for worry (worry comes naturally when I think I am responsible to make everything work right).  But worry is not present when we work hard and leave the results to God, knowing He is our good, loving, trustworthy Father and that–when hardship comes–He will give us the grace to walk through it and will not leave us or forsake us.

God has me reading the book, A Praying Life, by Paul Miller, for the 3^rd time (1^st on my own, second with my growth group with the Cru legal team, now with my church women’s Bible study).  I am getting the feeling He is telling me it is time to apply it a bit more fully. A theme for me in reading it this time is the need for dependence in order to be driven to prayer.  I can-not truly change hearts (my children’s or the students’), regardless of how much I plan. And they are not more likely to apply what I say, regardless of how many times I tell them that I really do know what I am talking about and that it truly will make their lives better if they just do it.  Yet somehow I still think that, if I just tell them one more time…  I don’t need to pray—they just need to change and get it through their head, right? OK, so that sounds as pig headed as it is…

For example, I tell my 7 year old (again), that it doesn’t help when he yells at his little brother that he is being bad and that he should be quiet. This censure from an older brother typically provokes from the 3 year old, “no YOU’RE being bad”—incidentally not the desired result. I ask calmly (mostly) if this was helpful and then ask why he keeps doing it if it is not helpful. Nevertheless, despite my amazing wisdom, the scenario tends to repeat itself.  In reality, this is not as much a “knowing-the-right-thing-to-to” problem as it is a heart problem, both for me AND for my children. And who is in the business of changing hearts? Not me! Praying that God would be at work in their little hearts as well as my own suddenly seems like the true wisdom.  Dependence.

So what are some areas where I need to apply this dependence right now?

First, as a mother to my precious children. I love them so much and want to protect them from physical and emotional pain and want to see them grow to know and love God and others, yet I cannot guarantee that any of that will happen, no matter how many wise parenting books I read and apply.

Second, as we wait in anticipation to see if we will be able to adopt a child out of Arizona’s Foster care system. Over the last several months, Jeremiah and I have filled out all the paperwork and taken the foster care licensing classes, after feeling led by the Lord to pursue this step for our family. Now, we are waiting for everything to go through to get our license, then will be waiting for God to bring a child to our family, then waiting to see if we are meant to be the permanent family for that child.

Third, in ministry—both on campus and in my legal work for Cru. I can strategize and speak with wisdom and eloquence, but unless God moves, my efforts are in vain. I think this is one thing that (at least in part) only ministry experience can truly teach. Maybe it is just me, but I have experienced part of maturing in ministry is going through a cycle of: pride—frustration/cynicism—brokenness/dependence—fruit. As we mature, we get to dependence a lot faster—and only there do we really find contentment and peace.

I may be getting to dependence faster, but I still have a long way to go.  I want to be able to act on King David’s words in Psalm 37: 5-6

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him, and he will act.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,
    and your justice as the noonday.

 

We had a fun Fall Retreat this year down in Prescott, AZ, at a wonderful Church that allowed us to use their facilities. We had 23 students attend with our family and our guest speaker, Dave Goffeney (a former Cru staff who is church planting in Tucson). We were all blessed by the time, and saw many of the new students really connect well for the first time (since several of them had only been to a few of our activities before).

We had a lot of fun time (ping pong, interactive group games, soccer and hanging out at a local park, chatting and eating candy—always fun at a retreat).  The content was encouraging and challenging too—Dave spoke on “Becoming what God intended” and focused on where our identity and purpose in life are centered, and how God wants us to shift those to bring him glory and bring us satisfaction.

We also had amazing times of worship, entering before the throne together. The worship was even better because we were responding in our hearts to the truth that Dave had brought us to and that we were able to personalize in our discussion groups.

We are hopeful that students will continue to think about how to place their identity in the Lord above all else, and experience the true freedom and joy that comes from that.  We also pray that they will continue to grow in sharing what they are learning and what they believe with others. We have an opportunity this coming week to do so with our “Think: what’s your perspective” outreach. It is like ones we have done in the past, and is student-led. Our student leaders led the training time and are excited to head up the tabling and encouraging of one another to talk to friends while we are all wearing the green “Think” t-shirts together. Please pray for God to move in and through FlagCru students this week!

I wanted to give those of you interested a brief update on some of the things I have been doing on the legal side.  I have been very busy trying to juggle many responsibilities there, while also helping Jeremiah to launch the ministry this year at NAU. One big task has been helping each of our contextualized ministries within the Campus Ministry draft up and finalize model constitutions. We want to ensure that our purposes are clear within all of our Cru ministries, to make sure that all of our Chapters are pursuing the mission we have been called to. Along with that, we are seeking to streamline a more formal Chartering process for all of our Chapters–both staff, volunteer, and student-led–around the country. We require that each Chapter agrees to pursue Cru’s mission and uphold our statement of faith, in order to preserve the integrity of Cru at all levels. It has been exciting to interact with the national leadership in each ministry, and I am so thankful to be part of a ministry where each leader is pursuing the Lord so wholeheartedly and with humility.

I have also been helping many of our Chapters around the country get registered this Fall as student organizations on their campuses. One particular area of concern has been in California, with the California State University system. The following paragraphs are a statement I wrote up on that issue by way of an update:

The California State University system  began strictly applying their nondiscrimination policy to leadership selection in the last year or so. This means that they are prohibiting us from  using religious criteria in the selection of our student leadership if we want to have registered student clubs on Cal State campuses.  Yet we believe it is crucial in order to preserve our message and mission as Cru (which is, of course, religious in nature), that we have students leading our groups who actually believe in that mission and are following Jesus as they encourage others to get to know and follow Him.

We have partnered with InterVarsity in pursuing dialogue with the Chancellor of the Cal State system, seeking understanding and a solution that might address our religious liberty concerns that the policy raises.  The Chancellor has granted religious groups such as ours a one year reprieve from the strict application of the policy to give us time to work toward language that might address some of our concerns while still satisfying the university’s desire to create an inclusive environment.

This reprieve allows us to focus on our mission with strongly aligned student leaders, while having an open membership policy, as we have done for decades all over the United States. Nevertheless, it is a temporary reprieve, and the California State Universities continue to assert that no group should use religious criteria in the selection of student leaders.  Please pray that we can find a way forward with the Cal State system as we work with the Chancellor, InterVarsity, and several other religious groups.

Thank you for praying, and for being part of this ministry work with us.

Transition. Confusion. Loneliness. Excitement. Stress. Hope. New Friendships.

These are some of the things new students here at NAU are experiencing in these first couple weeks on campus. We have had the joy of meeting many new students and inviting them to come find community and support within Cru. We are seeking to welcome and care for new students, and also to have the opportunity to share the hope we have in Christ with them. Jeremiah saw one young man decide to follow Christ after truly understanding the gospel for the first time. It is such a joy to see that “aha” moment and the excitement that follows it.

We have had a couple great first weekly meetings and several fun socials. Even during Labor Day weekend, we had a great turnout for a game night. And this past weekend we had mens’ and womens’ nights, where we were encouraged by the bonding we saw. I had 18 girls over at the house, and everyone seemed to enjoy chatting over snacks, pazookies, and making flower hair clips and lotion bars. I am excited to get to know many of these women better. I know that some of them are having a hard time with the transition away from home, but I am praying that Cru can be the welcoming, genuine community that they need to keep going, and that through it, they will be encouraged to trust in and pursue the Lord in the midst of all the transition involved in starting college.

It has also been fun to see a number of transfer students get involved. Jeremiah has been able to start an upperclassmen mens’ small group (in addition to our dorm small groups) with some of our guys from last year and several new transfer men who are excited to grow and serve. They are wanting to be challenged and shown what it looks like to be a man of God.

In addition, several of our students from last year are stepping up to serve and help meet the needs we have to run the movement this year. We pray that the Lord would continue to develop them in powerful ways this year, so they can become more like Him and experience the joy that only comes from living out their faith and pursuing God’s purposes.

God’s plan is good, and we are seeking Him as we pray for these new students and eagerly wait to see what He will do in their lives.